So, just wanted to post a few brief updates about Team Suffusion of Yellow, now that some things have gotten settled and we're making progress.

First, I'm gonna be starting some fundraising efforts in the very near future. Our budget is nearly finalized so I'll post a target amount when I start shamelessly blegging here. More details to follow!

And on that note, I'm going to be shamelessly exploiting any resources I can find so if you have something unusual or useful-- access to a location, a collection of something, interesting costumes, connections to a flamenco troupe or a clown school or a motorcycle gang-- and you're willing to be available at a moment's notice that weekend, let me know. I might also be hitting you up. =)

Second, this film will be my first crack at directing (notwithstanding the "f-negative" scene I took over and stumbled through last year). I figured it was about time I jumped in the deep end. I predict that most of the people on my crew will be doing their jobs for the first time, but I'm ok with that. I have confidence both in the skills that have led or will lead me to choose them, in their ability to learn, and in their capability to come through for me. My goal this year is to finish as good a film as we are capable of, bring it in on time, and have a good time doing it. If it ultimately stinks on fuckin' hot ice, well, as long as we made a sincere effort and hopefully learned something, it'll be fine.

Since I am directing, I am *not* producing or writing. I am joined by my good friend rudolfrassen who has taken on the role of producer and balthazar99 who will be head writer. I am very excited to be working with both of them and I think they're already doing great jobs. We're still finalizing and filling some other crew roles; I may be bringing a couple of my classmates from AIM onto the project as well.

Third, one of my not-so-secret goals with this team is to observe how everyone does, who is truly into the work, how people work together, etc., in order to start building a network of people I can count on to call in for future projects. I'm looking at doing one or two more shoestring-budget, non-competition-based short films between the summer and the end of the year, and within the next year or so I expect to be formally creating a teeny tiny little production company. It'll probably be a "company" at first and grow from there; there's a lot to figure out about that still, but with this project I want to start getting some mechanisms into place-- equipment connections, editing software, the aforementioned network of people to work with-- so that it becomes easier to get productions off the ground in the future. I realized at some point that my dream of starting a production company was one that always had a "someday" attached to it, and that I was always thinking of myself as a filmmaker in a future sense. I decided that life is too short to wait for some vague "perfect" time to bring those goals into the present, and I was inspired both by some entrepreneurial writers pointing out that it's ok to have a company for a while that you finally decide to shut down and move onto a new one, and pointing out some very successful entrepreneurs whose first (and second and third...) companies closed up shop after a year or two; and also by a woman filmmaker I interviewed for the indie film magazine I wrote for (which, alas, appears to have shut down-- and just as I was due to start getting paid to write there!!), who when I asked her whether she'd ever considered building experience by working for others instead of just leaping into independent production, said,

"...I also refuse to succumb to years of grueling assistant positions, grumbling because I’m still waiting for my 'big break.' A good friend just sent me this quote. I think it’s highly applicable here: 'It is not necessary to barter your talent, your self-esteem, and your youth for the chance of pleasing your inferiors. It is more frightening but it is not less productive to go your own way, to form your own theatre company, to write and stage your own plays, to make your own films. You have an enormously greater chance of eventually presenting yourself to, and eventually appealing to, an audience by striking out on your own,… than by submitting to the industrial model of the school and studio.' (True and False by David Mamet.)"

It really made me think about the things I have done in my life-- starting a nonprofit theater company; writing, directing, producing a play as an Off-Broadway showcase; writing a 70+ person weekend LARP; co-founding a spiritual group-- that happened because I just leaped in and did them, without being an expert, trusting that I'd learn what I needed to along the way, that resources and help were available and that the mistakes would be as valuable as the successes. All those things certainly had plenty of mistakes and shortcomings, and varying levels of success, but none of them were anything I regret trying. My life is richer for all those experiences. And so this might end up being a "starter wife" of a company, but at least I'll know a lot more for the next company, and at least I won't still be saying "someday".

So I'm observing people with an eye to whether I want to work with them in the future, and I do encourage you, if you're interested in working on films and in working with me, to *tell* me. I've had some "little birdie" reports about a few people who apparently are interested but haven't said so to me. I'm not a mind-reader, folks, and I'm not going to track you down on someone's say-so and try to get you involved, because my goal is not to be one of those people who continually recruits all their friends and compels them into labor on their latest project because it can't get done otherwise, and the friends happen to be the types who have trouble saying not-yes. Taking the initiative to talk to me is the baseline evidence I need in order to know you're genuinely interested and not just humoring me.

That said, I'll be honest. You might not end up on my team this year (which is smaller and much more tightly focused). You may or may not end up on another project based on the peculiarities of that project. I'm not making promises that if you say you want to do X, I'm automatically going to recruit you to do it. But, I do want to try to give people chances to do things they're interested in, when I can, and if for some reason I don't feel like you and I would work well together, I will *happily* point you towards local resources to help you get involved in that area of filmmaking. But you've gotta talk to me for any of that to happen.

Fourth, regarding casting-- I'm going to the Stonehenge mass audition this year and I hope to do most of my casting there. If you're an actor working at a professional or semi-professional level (meaning you have a headshot and resume at least) and you're interested in film acting, I strongly urge you to try to get registered at Stonehenge this weekend. You'll be seen by a lot of producers and directors in the area and if you're any good, you'll almost certainly get calls for projects. Possibly unpaid projects, but calls nonetheless.

There is a *possibility* that we'll do a one-night follow-up audition afterward to see the people we liked best from Stonehenge and also to see actors who are personal friends who for whatever reason weren't doing Stonehenge. I'm not sure if we'll be able to swing it yet.

I will say that I'm pretty committed to using people with acting experience and training. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but it does make a difference, and considering what other limitations we'll be facing, I know full well that good, experienced, skilled actors can compensate for a lot of flaws in a project. And, to be honest, one of my lingering buttons from my acting days are the legions of people who want to do professional-level acting without any training or experience, because acting looks so "easy". I put in a lot of years working hard to hone my skills and it pisses me the fuck off when some booblicious celebrity chippie in an Us magazine interview turns up her nose and snots about how she never took an acting class because she was just so naturally gifted. Like, fuck you. Stop encouraging people to think that they don't have to put in any effort to be competent. I don't have a problem with giving someone who's relatively new a chance if they audition well. But I want to know they're actually working at it. If I decide I want to provide a space for total newbies to learn, I'll run acting workshops. For this I want people who can hit the ground running.

Finally, there are probably some folks who are curious about the situation with wylddelirium and myself with regards to the 48HFP. To prevent speculative gossip, here's the poop: She and I talked a long time ago about the project and what we each wanted to do about it last year. We discussed the possibilities both of working together again, and of having separate-but-friendly teams in order to create more opportunities for people. As I got ready to start gearing up for this year, we talked again, and she felt that with her ongoing health issues it was best not to make any commitment yet, and I said I was going ahead with my plans and that we could talk again if she changed her mind.

We talked once more this weekend, and she confirmed that with her health issues and other commitments she doesn't feel like she's up to participating in it at all. I reiterated that if she changed her mind, if she wanted to have her own team, I was totally fine with that; but that I very much support her *not* overcommitting out of a sense of obligation. Her medical mystery is worrisome to all of us who care about her and we want her to do everything she needs to in order to get better. =)

So there was no falling-out, no animosity surrounding the fact that we're not doing this project together this year. I don't want to speak for her but I believe that she is in support of my team and our project, and I am in support of her decision to take the year off. We agreed that it seemed like a good idea to get all that out in the open right away...neither of us is interested in any misconceptions or rumors flying around.

Anyway, so that's what's up with the competition right now. I'll definitely post more as the contest gets closer!