Tags: gnomes

Gnome Love

My Friends Are Weird =)

So, a long time ago, Random and I were talking with some friends about the infamous incident of the head of Elvis being left anonymously on monsteralice and evcelt's doorstep, with head cracked open and brainpan stuffed with bread (and a bottle of Astroglide, was it?) and a note saying "EAT MY BRAINS", and at the time, I commented, "You know, most people have one really weird friend in their circle, and if something like that happened to them they'd be like, oh that's just Crazy Bob up to his old tricks. It really says something about this group of friends that when someone leaves the head of Elvis on your doorstep like that, you have to stop and think WHICH ONE of your friends might have done it."

The reason I am thinking about this is that I have received a wee visitor in the mail today.

Just a box in a paper wrapper, addressed to me, with a pre-cancelled stamp and no return address, within which is a little gnome with a note on an index card:

We demand multijurisdictional representation. Please find enclosed a union agent to oversee conditions in your work environment. He is well-trained to maintain standards & ongoing negotiations.

Regards, EF&G Local 57


The handwriting looks familiar, though I can't place it. And there are too many Crazy Bobs in my social circles to narrow it down THAT way.

I love my friends. I love that I'm not automatically sure who did it. You are all so delightfully fucking weird. And I love that my life accommodates that kind of weirdness so easily.

So, whoever you are, "Union Boss", if you are reading this, know that I received your agent and am thorougly amused and tickled.

Time to go hash out length and frequency of breaks. ;-)
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