Tags: windrose


Puja-- first thoughts

I'm sure I'll be capable of a much more incisive analysis of tonight's Ganesh puja and how it all went-- later.

Tonight I'm just gonna ramble for a bit while I still have some adrenaline pumping, before I crash hard for the night.

(And tomorrow-- tomorrow I sleep in, maybe get my nails done, soak in a hot bath with Dead Sea salts, do a bunch of writing, maybe even lie on the couch and read Little, Big for a few hours instead of just in dribs and drabs. Ohhh sweet luxury...)

I look forward to the day (actually probably not too far off) when WindRose does something AGAIN. That is, that we do a ceremony or ritual that we've already done before, that we have a script for, that we're not doing from scratch. It would be cool to have the chance to tinker with a finished product, smooth out the rough patches, make it better.

That said, though, I feel pretty darn good about how everything went tonight. There were minor glitches here and there-- a missed communication, a technical mishap-- but things kept moving, and I think everyone felt fairly engaged and involved, as much as they wanted to be.

My Ganesh icon, which is about a foot or so high and made of papier mache over balloons, concerned me because, well, I made him at the last minute (because apparently I'm retarded) and he was a bit primitive-looking, not terribly well balanced, and a lot less lavishly decorated than he'd have been if I'd started on him a few weeks ago like I SHOULD have. But I gotta say, sitting on the altar in his little curtained alcove, piled with offerings of flower garlands and jewelry, with the lights in the room very low and candlelight illuminating the icon...he looked pretty damn lovely. Wish I had photos of that, but I don't think anyone took any, and I forgot I have a camera phone now.

Random-- who, having portrayed Ganesh in the ritual drama portion of the puja, is feeling very fond of him right now-- and I debated the icon's future on the way home. See, in most Ganesh ceremonies that are bigger than just private household ceremonies, "temporary" seems to be an important quality and beautiful images of the god are made in unfired clay so that at the end of the ceremony they can be carried to the water and thrown in, where they dissolve and everyone sings "Circle of Life" or something. And this icon was made to be temporary as well-- he isn't very sturdy or durable, like I said he's kinda lopsided and a little funny-looking-- although I wasn't sure what to do to "recycle" him because papier mache and paint and tape and balloons, thrown in water, is just littering. But on top of that, now, both Random and I are feeling rather protective of my poor primitive icon and not so eager to do away with him. Doesn't say much for overcoming attachment, but, he's just really darn cute!

As usual when I am running something like this, it is impossible for me to both "go deep" spiritually AND keep things moving, and director-head always wins out. There were moments for me-- during the singing, or while narrating the ritual drama-- that I got very caught up in the energy of the moment; and during the recitation of the 108 names of Ganesh I was at least able to feel very centered and peaceful and to feel the meditative energy around me. But mostly, I always really really want others to feel moved or connected or get trancey or just really feel like they got something out of it on a spiritual level, because *my* mind is racing with what's next and who's doing X and what was that line I need to remember and let's sweep the energy and see if we're losing anyone and is the pacing ok and is it too quiet and shit I forgot to say Y and oh, cool, she looks like she's deep into it and is everyone engaged, ok yeah I think so...etc etc. So I do get a vicarious pleasure when someone tells me they experienced something profound or soothing or that just felt really good in something I'm running, that they were really present in the moment. And I do get something out of the whole thing, at least a great energy buzz, and a charge of spiritual energy in a way I can't really articulate. I don't know, has anyone else who's run something like this had a similar experience? I feel like I ought to be really deeply grounded and welling over with immense amounts of divine energy, but the feeling is more like...like being an air elemental, racing mentally, full of electricity fizzing and sparking, in a thousand places at once, thinking a thousand thoughts at once.

However, I think I am feeling more confident and natural about taking the lead on something like this. Developing a better sense for what works and what doesn't, feeling less anxious about how things will go and more excited about experimenting with different things.

Now, if I could just succeed in improving my time management skills. =)

We had a really good group of people tonight, lots of wonderful energy in the room, and I think we even had some fun with the ceremony! Going out afterwards was a particular treat because nearly everyone came along, we picked up Ambug and Sharrainchains, and well, I did a liquid fast all day as preparation for the puja so my dinner was the BEST MEAL I EVER HAD. lol It was great company and great fun.

And, I ended up in a terrific conversation about film, Shakespeare, Baz Luhrman, and many other such things, and I could probably have sat all night continuing it.

This, apparently, is where my train of thought derails...I finished that last paragraph and then sat here staring at the screen for who-knows-how-long, which means it's time for bed.

Good night, Lord Ganesha, your parties rock. =)


Well, I talked to the film people this week...fortunately I can still do the project without having to sacrifice Sunday and Monday! (although I may go meet with them Monday)

Best part? If the first shoot goes well, there will be others, and they want to try to "keep the team together" and use as many of the same people on the crew as they can get. So I may end up with ongoing film work from this, if things pan out.

And I've met a lot of these people through the 48HFP, so it may well be that doing that was indeed a great way to start making contacts!

Sunday, I write up at least one of the short film scripts kicking around in my mind. I need a few that I can show people as samples of my screenwriting.

So, yay, film work AND sleep this weekend!

Ganesha puja tomorrow...things are shaping up very nicely although I've reached that point of feeling like I'm keeping 100 balls in the air and will continue to feel like that until we're all chillin' at Amphora tomorrow night. I'm excited though...I think this is going to be awesome.

And I know exactly what I'm asking Lord Ganesha to smooth the way for, and what I'm offering him in return. =)

Back to work...